Finding a Man Who Is (Literally) Stuck
What Does It Take to Get Moving When We’re at Our Lowest?
This blog is a space for honest stories, thought-provoking questions, and practical tools for personal and collective growth. It’s inspired by my work as a coach, facilitator, and founder of The Lost Art of Random Conversations — and by my life as another human doing their best to make sense of it all and enjoy the journey.
This is a story about what happens when we stop, step in, and help someone get unstuck.
An Unusual Sight on the Sidewalk
A couple of months ago, my partner, two friends, and I left a restaurant in Encinitas after a laughter-filled, relaxing evening.
Until it wasn’t.
As we approached an intersection, something caught my eye.
On the sidewalk to my left, a woman stood frozen, staring down at a man.
Face down. On the pavement.
Yikes.
I did a double take.
Did I just see what I think I saw?
I rolled down my window and called out: “Hey, everything okay?”
The woman quickly replied: “Oh, we’re fine, thank you.”
…Fine?
We hesitated. Then, taking her at her word (against every gut instinct in my body), I drove off.
But something felt off.
The Gut Knows Before the Brain Does
As we drove away, the car buzzed with speculation.
What was that? Who was he? Why was he face down? Was she actually okay, or was that just an automatic response?
My spidey senses were tingling. Something wasn’t right.
Luckily, my partner knows me well enough to read my internal conflict before I even say a word.
No more than three minutes later, she glanced over at me and said:
“You want to go back, don’t you?”
I nodded.
So we did.
The Bystander Effect
There’s a concept in psychology called the bystander effect—when we see something concerning but assume someone else will take care of it.
And often, someone does.
The firefighters, the paramedics, the Good Samaritans of the world.
But what if everyone assumes that?
What if no one stops?
It’s easy to tell ourselves:
🚦 “It’s not my business.”
🚦 “They said they’re fine.”
🚦 “Someone else will handle it.”
But I’ve learned that if something doesn’t sit right with me, there’s probably a reason.
And in that moment, I had to listen to it.
Back to the Scene
We pulled up to the same sidewalk.
Nothing had changed.
The woman still stood there. The man was still face down.
This time, I didn’t ask. We just got out.
Turns out, she had called 911. She was worried. And yes, something was very wrong.
The man was her godfather. They had been out drinking, and somewhere along the way, he went down.
Hard.
Face to the pavement, glasses shattered, face cut, unresponsive.
She wasn’t sure what to do.
Luckily, my partner and I did—and we kicked the group into action mode.
Getting Someone (Literally) Unstuck
He wasn’t moving.
And at some point, someone had to get him up.
So, my friend and I each took an arm and hoisted this 6-foot-something, 200+ pound man off the pavement.
Let me tell you: this guy was dead weight.
He couldn’t support himself.
He couldn’t move forward on his own.
So we carried him. Up a big-ass hill. To get him home safely.
And somewhere along the way, a realization hit me.
This is what I do.
Not the literal lifting of passed-out men (thankfully).
But the metaphorical lifting.
Helping Stuck Men Get Moving
So much of my work is about helping men who feel stuck.
Maybe not face-down-on-the-pavement stuck.
But stuck in their careers, their relationships, their purpose, their emotions.
And just like the guy on the sidewalk, they don’t always know how to get up on their own.
They think:
❌ “I should be able to handle this alone.”
❌ “I don’t want to be a burden.”
❌ “I’ll figure it out eventually.”
And so, they stay down.
Until someone comes along and lends a hand.
Because sometimes, we need support before we can stand on our own again.
The Invitation: Who Helps You Move?
We all get stuck.
We all have moments when we need someone to help us get moving again.
Maybe that’s a friend, a partner, a coach, a mentor.
Maybe that’s you—being the person who notices someone struggling and stops to help.
Who is that person for you?
Who do you need to check in on?
And where in your life do you need a hand getting up?
Have You Helped Someone Get Unstuck?
📩 Ever had a moment where you knew you had to step in?
📩 Or a time when someone showed up for you when you needed it most?
Drop a comment or send me a message—I’d love to hear your story.
Let’s Keep This Conversation Going
📩 Get More Insights: Get monthly reflections, soulful questions, and practical tools to support your growth and relationships.
💙 Support the Work: If this resonates and you’d like to contribute, you can send a donation via Venmo: @LostArtofRandomConvo — always appreciated, never expected.
🌐 Explore & Connect: Want to go deeper? Learn more about my work and coaching offerings at www.tomkarrel.com.